You don’t find time, you make it

All good things start small. My first mommy retreat was a long weekend at the Black Bass Hotel. It is a historic inn, tucked in the heart of Bucks County on the Delaware River. With the blessing of my husband and the help of Jessie’s grandmother, I was able to get away with a friend. The end result was a rested Mom and a family that had missed me.

The next time I went away, it was for a week. The time after that was 15 days and that was a day too long for my husband. Over the years, here and there we took separate vacations, as well as, a family vacation which revolved around family. Mind you, vacation typically means a long weekend and for me, those times away alone were a minimum of five years apart. That’s a long time to wait to get off the grid.

Why do I share this? I share because it’s not selfish to take time for yourself. When you take care of a child with multiple needs, it’s easy to feel lost and rundown. It’s easy to find yourself filling everyone else’s needs before your own. Not that there is anything wrong with that but there comes a point you need to allow yourself to be first. Even so, once everyone’s needs were met, I did my best to make sure mine were met too. Needless to say, it’s exhausting always being on-duty.

There are several things I loved about getting out of Dodge; no school buses to wait for, no therapy appointments to rush off to, and not being on a schedule. My life had boiled down to “wash, rinse and repeat”. I’ve often said that when the family leaves in the morning the house is clean and it’s clean when they return. To the casual observer, it looks like I don’t do anything, however, anything that looks easy really takes a lot of work.

Upon return, I loved that I had been missed. I loved seeing and feeling appreciated. Dr. Phil would say that was my payoff. He may be a jerk in real life but that doesn’t mean he didn’t have wisdom to share.

Ultimately, the best part about running away from home is returning because I love my life and the people in it.

This summer, I didn’t find time away but I did take time off and stopped writing. It was the one thing I could control. The family needed me, my little jobs needed me and I felt like I had nothing to say. One week turned to two, then a month went by and I still hadn’t written. So now, this is my attempt to get back in the saddle again. Sometimes a physical break is needed and sometimes a mental one. I’m hoping now that my mind is rested, inspiration will come and the stories will write themselves. Haha, maybe not, we shall see.

PS- when summer was over, I did go to the shore for the weekend. Off-season calls me to the ocean. Though I didn’t need to get-away, I did feel at peace hearing the ocean. It’s good for the soul.