For his birthday, I gave husband a Superman t-shirt and a package of underwear to make an “outfit”. Don’t get any ideas.. Instead of Fruit of the Loom, I bought Jockey’s, I’m a horsewoman at heart (and he’d be tall for a jockey). For months, these undies sat unopened on the dresser. Why? Because they are not the “brand” that he wears. Last week, I did not keep up with the laundry (do note that being behind on laundry once out of seven months is acceptable) and husband found himself opening the package of the “other” brand. His first comments were “these fit differently, the waistband is higher, I’m not sure I like them”. He did, however, complete the look with his Superman t-shirt and I finally saw the whole ensemble. Impressive! By the end of the day, he said “you know, these are quite comfortable, I like them!”. Husband may not like change, but when push comes to shove, he accepts it as soon as he sees the benefits that it can bring.
What is it about change that makes us not want to step out of our comfort zone? When we go out to eat, I find myself ordering the things that I know I like instead of trying something different. I don’t know if I make these choices because they are tried and true or because it just gives me comfort to stick with my routine. As time goes on, I’ve noticed I’m often dissatisfied with my choices, they are unfulfilling. More often than not, I prefer what John orders. Mostly, I stick to a routine because I find when I’m methodical, less mistakes are made and it keeps my OCB in check.
Watching Jess, I wonder why she makes the choices that she does. Is the familiar easier than taking a risk? It’s taken her a long time just to learn to predict the outcome for basic things. She has such difficulty with tasks that most people find easy. People like Jess with Angleman Syndrome can have severe motor planning problems and change is not their friend. One little deviation would throw Jess off completely.
There is nothing more exciting to see than for Jess to test boundaries and try new things. For the longest time, she had me at her side, helping her along the way. Now we both have to adjust to this new way of doing things. I have to step back and she has to step it up. This week she picked up her dirty clothes off the floor and put them in the washer. Gee, I’d be excited if my husband did this, however, I’m doubly excited because I didn’t have to ask her. Another time, I “hinted” that tomorrow was going to be a long day and it was time to call it a night. I went to my room to put my jammies on and Jess went to get herself ready. By the time I was dressed, I could not find her? Our house is not that big so was starting to wonder where she had disappeared to? Finally, found her in the shower washing her hair. It’s taken her two years to get to this point. She is now able to put all the steps in the correct order and is confident about attempting things without my shadowing her.
Tonight at dinner, for the first time, Jess pushed my hand away when I was modeling with her talker. This is her voice and she knows what she wants to say. Apparently, I’m not needed. Yes, change is something we are willing to open our mind to.