When everyone is where they belong, I’m often left to my own devices. I have the luxury of making my own schedule. I get to decide when to do the laundry, clean the house and run errands. There is also a never ending list of projects. I’m starting to believe that for every job I complete, two more replicate like dividing amoeba.
There is one job that I have that is nearly pure pleasure. I’m fortunate to have a college student share her horse with me! People don’t view riding as a job, but when it is 99 degrees and humid with no breeze, I’m at the barn. When it is 19 degrees with a cold north wind blowing, I am at the barn. As with everything in life, you balance the good with the bad. Fall is my favorite time of year to ride. The kids are back in school, fly season is over and I have the indoor ring to myself.
As I was walking to George’s pasture, it’s in these peaceful moments when my mind is anything but restful. Today’s random thoughts:
- My child is the definition of stubborn.
- Sometimes, my daughter’s greatest strength is my greatest challenge.
- When you see a child that is challenged, you will also find a challenged parent.
- For every parent, there’s a different parenting style.
- You know the medicine is working, when you can’t tell they are on them.
- What you are living becomes your normal.
- Everyone thinks I’m strong, but there were times I was just one step away from falling over the edge.
- My days are long yet the years go by fast.
- Good from far, far from good.
This last thought; good from far, far from good. What may look good from a distance, isn’t always the case when you get up close. From a distance, my life may look carefree. No one knows that the first ten years of motherhood, I was terrified. No one knows that the next 10 years, my daughter was on a plateau, not making headway medically or educationally. No one knows that two years ago we were in the fight of our life. Jessie’s last year of school, was her make or break year. Fortunately, we had the closest thing to the dream team to work with Jess and she gave up control and became part of the team effort.
We are now in a cautiously optimistic phase. When the director of Jess’s occupational training center (OTC) called me out of the blue today, I always have to verify that nothing is wrong before I can resume breathing. Someday, I hope to get to the point where I’m not waiting for the other shoe to drop. As for “far from good”, I think we are getting closer to good every day.