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When the remote goes missing, the blame game begins.

It’s easy to make assumptions and point the finger at the likeliest culprit, Jessie. Apparently, it only takes one or two times before someone gets labeled for life. I could be wrong but this probably holds true for most families.

Sometimes, the controller is just not put back where it belongs. Other times it gets switched with an identical remote for another TV. This time, it just vanished.

No one knew who the last one was to use the remote but that didn’t stop us from asking Jessie where it was and for her to please look for it. Based on her expression, I knew this was not her doing.

For three days we looked to no avail.

Out of desperation, we decided the seat cushions of the leather couch needed a deeper dive.

Nothing.

As we turned the couch upside down, we heard a sound. We found a coin and some playing pieces from long-abandoned games., but no remote.

When we turned the couch over again, the TV went on. When we sat down, the channel changed.

To make a long story short, we found the remote wedged between the arm and the frame. We needed a screwdriver to extricate it. There’s a good possibility that if the TV didn’t give the remote away, we never would have found it.

The lesson learned here is, don’t be so quick to judge who is at fault.

Note to self, just because Jess is the likely suspect, doesn’t make her guilty. We need to stop this knee-jerk reaction of pointing the finger of blame.

Now, if we question who left an empty carton of ice cream on the kitchen counter, that’s another story… Wait a minute, that hasn’t happened in years. Jessie has wisened up. She throws the containers away. As long as she hides her tracks and cleans up, I’m pleased.

I think we are good.

“My job is to pave the way, not to carry her conversations.

Having a voice means having a choice.

We made this because Jessie was zooming with her day program. I like to parallel what they are doing at home. Here’s the link that goes with this.

Simple syrup:

• 1 cup boiling water
• 1 cup of sugar
•  blue food coloring, enough to make it turn a dark blue or crush blueberries for their juice.

Lemonade:

• 2 cups boiling water
• 1 cup of sugar
• 1+ cup lemon juice, fresh is ideal, I like the pulp, bottled is acceptable
• 5 cups of water

Chill the syrup and lemonade.

Most recipes say simple syrup is ready as soon as all the sugar dissolves, however, I prefer to reduce it a little bit to make it thicker. The goal is to layer the colors and you want this heavier than the lemonade.

Dissolve the sugar in the water. I prefer lemonade to have more of a pucker so added another 1/4 cup lemon juice, which gave a more contrasting color.

Put ice in the glass.

Pour 1-2 ounces of the simple syrup (depends on the size of glass, the goal is to make layers of color. Bottom blue, light green, and the top should be pale yellow.

Next, gently pour the lemonade.

Umbrella, optional.

Social distancing? We have been doing this for years. This wasn’t exactly our choice but kind of came with the territory. When your child isn’t typical, people naturally distance themselves from you. This natural weeding process allowed for the cream to rise to the top and that is a good thing.

To those special teachers, therapists, caseworkers, and job coaches who by luck or by chance, were drawn to us, I want to thank you. Your time and effort have been life-changing for Jessie and I am grateful. As much as you were Jessie’s champions, the skills you shared have helped me too

We are taking advantage of this time to work on her life skills beginning with dressing. Either she is independent or she isn’t. My tweaking her (sports) bra (because easily gets twisted), or pull up her pants so she didn’t leave the house with plumbers-butt has to stop. Of course, she will need to pass inspection before leaving the house, however, there’s no need for me to be hands-on. Struggling is part of the learning process and we are both up for the challenge.

The only verbal prompt needed for dressing has been, “go back to your room and don’t come out until you are dressed”. Unfortunately, upon closer inspection, I realized she didn’t put on any of her undergarments, so she had to start over. The first few times, this took at least twenty minutes, however, her best time is now around eight. We are using the backward chaining method. This begins with modeling, followed by verbal prompts, then visual cues. Jessie has been doing a lot of the work herself, however, for some reason, I didn’t complete the final step of fading back.

The rest of our day we focus on chores; walking the dogs, moving laundry, and preparing meals to name just a few. Though I prefer to get jobs done quickly, I’m not stressing about it. For Jessie, all of this seems novel. Just wait till she realizes that housework is our new normal!

When the warmer weather arrives, I’ll have Jessie make lemonade. I’d like her to enjoy the fruits of her labor. In essence, isn’t this what we are doing now while staying the distance?

Who knows, maybe margaritas will be in order, along with a side of chips and guacamole. One thing I know for sure, we will be toasting all those special people who helped us along the way. 

Cheers!